Frozen Thoughts
by Dare2Dream13
Summary: What if the Frozen characters found out about fanfiction and read a story or two? This is a collection of letters from the cast addressed to writers everywhere to express their thoughts about the stories they've come across. This is sure to be interesting...
1. Elsa

_**Elsa**_

Writers,

I understand you enjoy writing about me, my sister, and many others as a pastime. I find this…strange, as we are truly nothing special, but admittedly I do enjoy reading the stories that you think of, though there are some complaints that I would like to express.

First of all, let's discuss pairings, or, according to all of you, ships. Allow me to get straight to the point by saying this: All of you who decide, for a reason that I cannot think of, to put me in a relationship with that vile creature who tried to kill my sister are obviously rather crazy and have greatly offended me. I understand that, since it is after all, or at least to me, a rather odd pairing, you might want to support it or give writing a story about it a try, but it greatly angers me that someone would imagine us having _feelings _for each other after that _thing _disgusted me beyond repair.

On a lighter note, every other pairing is still rather weird, as I've never really had feelings for anyone in particular, but I _do _wish that you'd discontinue "Helsa" and forget about it altogether.

Your stories about Anna having fire powers are very intriguing to me. I guess I've never really thought about her having control over an element, but I do rather enjoy these writings as they spark my interest and make me think about what it would be like if I wasn't the only supernatural one. As for the stories of my sister's death…well, I've read one or two, just to see what you've done, but I must admit that they genuinely depress me and I dearly wish that wouldn't take Anna's death so lightly.

I really have no other complaints. Thank you for taking your time to create a story about me, though at times I do find this rather creepy…. I wish you a good day and the best of luck with your writing!

Sincerely,

Queen Elsa of Arendelle

**A/N: I'm sorry it's so short, but I couldn't think of anything else! This was inspired by another story I've read, though I can't remember what it's called. And just so you know, I actually like Helsa (I have no idea why), I'm just trying to be in character. Thank you for reading and please review with constructive criticism and suggestions on who I should write a letter for next. Have a nice day!**

**-Dare2Dream13**


	2. Anna

_**Anna**_

Dear fanfiction writers,

Let me begin by saying that when I first found out about the stories you've written, I did a thorough investigation of _everything _because the fact that someone had written about me in detail kind of creeped me out…and I was afraid that I was being watched and the information was being passed on to you and you thought it would be amusing to scare me. I still haven't found out how you know so much about me yet, but the other day a shiny, flat, circular thing was given to me by Elsa, who at the time looked rather flustered; I think I'll find out how to read it and see if it somehow explains how you know so much.

Anyway, I really like the stories that take place after the Thaw. They make me wonder what will happen in future. I also enjoy the ones that are set in an alternate universe. (AU, do you call it?) They always spark my interest.

As Elsa mentioned in her letter, pairing me or her with Hans in unacceptable and I won't tolerate it. In fact… [I've chosen to cut out this section because it's immensely long. After all, it's one of Anna's rants.] Good, I'm glad I've made myself clear.

I must say that I like it when you give me or someone else powers. I've never considered that Elsa might not be the only one with control over an element.

Please no more stories about Elsa's death (or worse) or my own. I find them offensive and, of course, rather depressing.

Other than that, fanfiction is great! It's very interesting to read what you write, especially since you seem to live in a different universe altogether. Good luck with your stories, I hope they turn out well!

Lots of love and chocolate from,

Princess Anna of Arendelle

**A/N: I greatly apologize for the length and the short, choppy paragraphs. I think I'm slowly developing a case of writer's block…. (Oh, the horror.) Please leave a review with constructive criticism and suggestions on whose letter I should write next. Thanks for reading!**

**-Dare**

**P.S. Any guesses on what the "shiny, flat, circular thing" is? ;)**


	3. Olaf

**AN: Hi everybody! Sorry I haven't written a new letter in a while. I thought I'd do Olaf's next since I'm just starting back and his will be pretty simple. Enjoy!**

_**Olaf**_

Hi! I'm Olaf and I like warm hugs!

You guys are really awesome. I mean, you're writing stories about me and my friends which is SUPER COOL! There's only one problem….

I think they're catching on. I mean, about how I co-directed the Frozen movie and everything. I can't keep giving you guys information! Eventually you're going to have to run off of imagination alone.

Oh great, someone's coming, I'd better start writing about normal things….

_Anyway_, I'd really like it if you continued to use your writing skills and be awesome and stuff. Yeah, Anna's reading this from behind me and it's _totally _not suspicious.

Okay, she left. But seriously, that was close. Luckily I was able to cover up the paragraph about being your informational source before Anna saw. I mean, I guess I could choose my favorite authors and beta their stories in secret so that they'll be more accurate, but I could still get caught that way. Trust me, Elsa wouldn't be happy if she was scrolling through my history one day (yes, she does that cause she thinks I'm irresponsible) and saw everything that I've been doing. But at least I've thought of a cool name for our corporation thingy: Operation Learn About Frozen, otherwise known as O.L.A.F.

So guys, please help me out here. All I'm asking is that you keep quiet and stay _secretive_. I'm begging you! I don't want Elsa to find out and take away my personal flurry because she gets angry. You don't want me to melt, do you?

-Olaf

**AN: Please tell me what you think and thanks for reading!**

**-Dare**


	4. Kristoff

_**Kristoff**_

Hi everyone,

Uh, I guess I'll begin by saying that…well, I don't really know _what _to think about your stories. Most of them are so accurate they're creepy, some of them have no relevance whatsoever, and a very select few are incredible!

But, erm, pairings are just awkward, even Kristanna, honestly. Reading what a random person has imagined your love life to be like is the weirdest thing in the world, right up there with the fact that living snowmen exist and some people _don't _talk to their reindeers.

Speaking of having conversations with Sven, why do you guys make fun of me for it? It's not like he doesn't talk back! I'm not crazy.

But anyway, I've chosen not to read any stories categorized as "romance" from now on.

Question: why do you add non-existent characters into our lives? Half the time they seem useless. I've noticed that most of the time you create them just to pair them with Elsa, which somehow seems wrong; she was telling me the other day that she doesn't like most of them and would never consider being in a relationship with any. You know, now that I think about it she complains about pairings even more than I do, yet she still reads about them. Huh, with all due respect, she's weird.

I don't really like alternate endings, either. Our actual story turned out just fine; everyone was happy and no one died. I'd prefer to keep it that way.

The stories about Elsa's and Anna's childhood are…depressing. I never knew all the details – assuming your source, whatever it may be, is accurate – and now that I do I'll never think of those two the same way. And no, I did _not _cry while reading a particularly sad one the other day. I didn't, I swear, I…okay, you get it. Heh, no, I didn't cry….

But anyway, the stuff you write is interesting to a strange degree. I guess I'll be okay with letting you continue. It's not you would listen if I told you not to, anyway….

-K

**A/N: Thanks for reading! I only plan on doing the Duke of Weselton, Hans, Sven (yes, I'm doing one for Sven), and the trolls, and then I'll be done. Feel free to tell me who you want me to do next. I hope you enjoyed!**

**-Dare**


	5. Sven

_**Sven**_

_Grunt grunt, grunt grunt grunt grunt gruuuuuunt grunt grunt grunt grunt._

_Grrrunt grunt grunt grunnnt grunt grunt. Ggggrrrruuuunnnnttttt. Grunt._

_Grunt grunt._

Translation:

Okay guys, I'm gonna make this nice and simple.

Olaf and I both agree that we need to stop giving you information. Either that or you pay us. In carrots and hugs. Thank you.

-Sven

**A/N: I know this one is really short…sorry. I might post another letter today because of this. I didn't have many ideas for Sven's, but I'm almost finished planning everyone else's. Thanks for reading!**

**-Dare**


	6. Duke of Weselton

_**Duke of Weselton**_

Writers,

First off, there need to be more stories about _me_. I don't understand why your whole lives seem to revolve around those Arendelle brats. They're nothing special, and that queen of theirs wants to take over the world and kill us all. Her sister is no better; she's very pesky (a horrible dancer, may I mention) and I'm certain that she's plotting with that sorceress to freeze the entire earth. They wrongly accused me of treason simply for trying to save us all. You should be grateful and repay me by writing about me.

Actually, I'm not sure if I'd like that. You all are horrible writers, and I don't want a badly-written story to be about me. You lack character and creativity and your plots are utterly boring. I don't understand why you even read each other's stories! They're so terrible that even an atrocious writer should be able to recognize it.

But on second thought, I want a story about me anyway. I deserve one. So start writing. NOW! Or better yet, take an English course first. You need one! You're all very dimwitted. I doubt you even know what one plus one is. I'll go ahead and tell you: it's five-thousand eight-hundred seventy-four.

So _get writing_!

-Duke of Weselton

**A/N: Just to clarify, I do not agree with the Duke of Weselton's views on your writing and I know what one plus one equals. :P**

**Please tell me what you thought and who'd you like to hear from next, Hans or the Trolls. Thanks for reading!**

**-Dare**


	7. Hans

_**Hans**_

Fanfiction writers,

First I'll express my complaints.

Complaint one: There are way too many stories about my [*in strained voice*] defeat. Everyone needs to stop writing about that. Now. Right now. Or else.

Complaint two: Pairing me with Elsa or Anna? Please, that would never happen. Nor do I lust after either of them.

Complaint three: Taking me out of a story is unacceptable. So is killing me off.

Complaint four: Most of the stories you've written about my childhood are depressing, and you have to make up _everything_. Almost all of them have no accuracy at all whatsoever.

Complaint five: Stop making fun of my sideburns! They're genetic!

Complaint six: Crossovers…no, just no.

Complaint seven: Don't make me look weak. Seriously.

Despite all of this, there are some things I like, such as the stories where I defeat and/or manipulate Elsa and the ones that revolve around me in a good way.

But I have a question. What's this _movie _thing you all talk about? And how do you know everything about me and everyone else? It's kind of disturbing. Especially how many details you've gotten right. Where are you getting all this information? I'd really like to know.

From,

Hans

**A/N: I've decided that I'm going to go ahead and finish this story today. I also have plans for an epilogue. It should be interesting…. *evil laugh***

**-Dare**


	8. Trolls

_**Trolls**_

To the best writers in the world!

From all of us.

We've agreed that your stories are awesome! You all have so much talent and big imaginations. But just praising you wouldn't be interesting enough. We'd like to tell you what we think about specific ideas that seem popular amongst the "Frozen fandom."

Firstly, OCs: We like it when you give Elsa someone to love and vice-versa. She doesn't exactly appreciate it, but we all think it's adorable! There are only a few pairings we don't like, actually. You know how we are about love and stuff, so romance is our favorite genre to read! Anyway, all OCs are really interesting. We like learning about them and seeing how they'll impact the story.

Next up, pairings: As we said before, we like the romance genre above all else. Kristanna is our personal favorite, and don't tell Elsa, but we like Helsa too.

Alternate endings: We kind of hate it when Elsa or Anna or anyone else dies. Whenever this does not happen, however, alternate endings are great!

AU: Eh, it's okay. Not anything we particularly enjoy.

Crossovers: These are so cool! Are the other characters and stuff really real? If they are then that would be really neat!

Fics about Elsa and Anna's childhood: These make us cry. We don't read them anymore.

Fics about Anna having fire powers: Let's just say that if this was real…all of Arendelle would have been burned down by now simply because of Anna's curiosity and carelessness.

Song parodies: These make us laugh! We love them!

Regular parodies: We don't like them as much as song-fics, but they're still awesome.

Thanks for taking the time to write about us! We love you all! But…what's a movie? And what do we have to do with it?

A million hugs from,

The Trolls


	9. Epilogue

_**Epilogue**_

Elsa stomped through the castle, furious. How could he do this to her? It was awful!

"Elsa, calm down!" Anna pleaded, trying to reason with her sister. She didn't know what was wrong, but it had to be bad.

"I can't! I need to find him!" Elsa swung open the door to her study and walked in, looking around for a moment before she marched back out and slammed the door shut behind her.

"Find who?"

Elsa turned to face Anna, still fuming. "Olaf."

"What did he do?" Anna asked.

"Remember that disk I gave you last week?" Elsa asked, now heading for her room.

"Um, yeah." Anna had never figured out to read it. "What was it?"

"It's basically a documentary of everything that's been going on in our lives for the past six months!" Elsa ran up a flight of stairs, her sister trailing behind her.

"What?" Anna screeched. "So is that how all those creepers on the Internet got that information?"

"Partly," Elsa said. "Olaf apparently co-directed the movie – that's what they call it – and has been giving them more information! And Sven's helping him!"

"Sven? No, he would never-!"

"Anna, he's a reindeer. Of course you wouldn't think that he would betray us."

"So everyone knows about your powers now?" Anna inquired, now running after Elsa up a spiral staircase. She was getting out of breath.

Elsa finally stopped and turned around. She had a grave expression on her face. "Yes, Anna. They do."

"And Olaf did this?"

"Yes. Yes he did." Elsa heaved a sigh and turned back around, then continued to make her way upstairs.

Anna remained silent, shocked. Olaf? Of all people? Well, he wasn't really a person, but still!

The two sisters searched their rooms, Anna's study, and the kitchen before finally it dawned on Elsa that Olaf might be in his "secret hideout/lair," as he liked to call it.

"It's so obvious, though," Anna said.

"Exactly," Elsa replied.

And sure enough, ten halls and five flights of stairs later, they found the snowman in the spare room that he'd claimed as his own, scrawling something as fast as he could onto a scroll of parchment.

"Olaf," Elsa said, announcing her presence in a flat tone. "We need to talk."

Olaf froze and turned around. "Yeah?" he asked.

"I found something today. On your laptop."

Olaf remained expressionless. "You did?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact." Elsa had been clutching the Macbook Air in her right hand. She opened it up to reveal Olaf's web history. The page was filled with evidence that he'd been sending emails to unfamiliar addresses, each sent message containing bits of everyone's person information. "Explain _this_ to me."

Olaf's eyes were wide. "I-"

"I knew there was something fishy about this whole fanfiction thing!" Elsa shouted, suddenly even more irate than she had been.

"I'm sorry Elsa!" Olaf waddled over to her. "They wanted more! They wanted to know more about your life! About what happens after the movie!"

"Speaking of which," Elsa said, her voice now dangerously calm, "what possessed you to do that? How did you film it, anyway?"

"It was Sven's idea!" Olaf wailed. "He recorded it all! He stole an Invisibility Cloak and-"

"Invisibility Cloak?" Anna asked.

"Yeah, you know, from the Harry Potter universe."

"So crossovers are real?" Anna squeaked.

"Yep."

"That's so awesome!"

Elsa cleared her throat, wanting to get back to the point. "And?"

"Um…" Olaf gave her his attention again, "he recorded it. I helped after you built me. It was fun. But then some creepy fangirls came along after we released the movie. They demanded that I tell them more. I didn't want them to kill me, because believe me, fangirls will do anything for something they love, even if they're only nine, like in this case. So I've been feeding the fanfiction community information."

"If it had to do with fangirls, I say it can be forgiven," Anna declared. "Don't you agree, Elsa?"

"Well…" Elsa thought for a moment. "Just don't do it anymore, okay? I'm still not happy with you."

"I'm so sorry! I won't do anything like it ever again!" Olaf hugged Elsa's leg. She shook him off, much to Anna's dismay. "Will you guys invite everyone over to watch the movie? I want you to see it."

"I've already seen it," Elsa said.

"Sure we will!" Anna interjected, shooting Elsa a glare. Her sister responded with a sigh.

"Yay!" Olaf went back to his parchment. "Elsa's already found out about the secret movie theater, I guess."

Elsa sighed. "Yes. I never knew there was a hidden room under the castle."

"I'll meet you there in a second, guys!" Olaf said. Then he turned to his parchment, picked up his quill, and began writing a letter.

_So I understand you'd like some information on this story and what happens next. It's called The Hunger Games, right?_

**A/N: BAM! Fanfiction was just explained! Ha ha, no. I kind of wish this was real, it would be pretty cool. I'm doing letters for the HG characters next, so that's the reason for the ending. Please review and tell me what you thought. As always, I hope you enjoyed!**

**-Dare**


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